Dear Inner Voice

Exes

2010-09-10T17:16:00.000-07:00

Do any of you ever look up your significant other's ex-girlfriends or boyfriends? I just went through about an hour's worth of doing that. I couldn't help it. There was one girl that I was in almost direct competition with. She wasn't my husband girlfriend when we met but they had gone on a couple of dates. Clearly, I married him so I know I don't have anything to worry about. However, I find myself still wanting to look up these other girls. I'm just curious to see what they're doing with their lives. Anyone out there do the same kind of stuff?

Writing a Book

2010-08-31T11:54:00.000-07:00

So, I've been looking at my old journals and I'm thinking about taking my entries and using them as inspiration to write a book. Have any of you tried to write a book? I'm not sure how to start or what to do, but I think it's something I'd like to try so that I can get some stuff off of my chest about my past once and for all.

I'm Feelin' Good!

2010-08-13T19:12:00.000-07:00

So, do any of you enjoy just staying home and having a few drinks? I have to admit, I have NEVER just had drinks at home unless it was a special occasion. But today, after a long, hard, very stressful day at work, I decided, have a glass of Sangria. So I did, and then another, and now I'm drinking a beer. I feel good. Not drunk, just happy.

I've been thinking about contacting old friends on Facebook, writing to them, checking up to see how they're doing. It's stuff I never would do sober. Funny how alcohol acts as an uninhibitor.

Still...I can't help but feel kind of guilty for drinking for no specific reason. Normally I have a few drinks for a girls' night, an anniversary, or a birthday. Today is none of those. Just a regular Friday.

Should I feel guilty? Do any of you just have drinks at home?

A Side Dish From My Childhood

2010-08-10T16:16:00.000-07:00

Ever make one of those dishes or side items that just takes you back to your childhood? I made a dish called, "Tostones." It is made from green plantains. You just cut them in two inch pieces, fry them halfway in some corn oil, take them out of the pan, squash them with the bottom of glass, and fry them again until they are a crispy golden color. Just season with some salt and serve. Yum, delicious! They're really easy to make!

My mom use to make these all the time when I was growing up. I really loved them. Somewhere along the road, I kind of...forgot about them, and how good they are. I'm glad I was able to rekindle this love for green plantains!

This Weekend

2010-08-09T16:12:00.000-07:00

As always, the weekends go by so fast! This one was no exception. Sunday was packed with activities. First church in the morning, then off to the pool for some fun in the sun. My son, who's 4, is leaning how to swim. He jumps in the water and can now make his way back to the edge of the pool with no problem. Of course, all of this was going on while my husband was with him in the pool...I'm not crazy!

After the pool, we went to eat some lunch at our favorite bbq spot, Sonny's. My son loves it, too, which is funny because I was truly obsessed with that place when I was pregnant.

After lunch we went to good ol' Walmart to buy some toys for our son. He got to pick a couple of items because he was a good boy and filling up his marble jar. It's a reward system we use and it works really well for us. Every morning, if our son was good the day before he gets 6 marbles, if he was only good for part of the day, he gets 3. Once he fills up the jar with marbles, he gets to pick out a toy or two.

So, what does he pick? Silly bands and binoculars. If you are a parent and have silly bands all over your house, you probably understand why my reaction was, "Silly bands...again?" He loves them though and so, I'm happy.

An Update

2010-08-07T17:11:00.000-07:00

So, I know, I know. I was gone for a year and then I just come back with a picture of a puppy? What the heck, right? Well, if you were one of the people that read my blog, you'd know that at the time I was trying to find another job, something that would be more of a career. I spent a lot of time on the job hunt and finally, I found one. Or...they found me. I'm still at the same company that I was working at before. There was an employee that was leaving in a different section and her boss approached me about the opportunity. I, of course, jumped on it and haven't looked back since.

Thanks to those that wished me well. I'm very happy now with what I'm doing! And...in case you were wondering what I look like...

HA! Just kidding. I'm not sure why, but I'm really uncomfortable putting up a picture of myself. Maybe it's the super self-conscious side of me or something.

My Puppy!

2010-08-05T10:56:00.000-07:00

Well, she isn't really a puppy but she's a small, 9-pound, Pekingese-Poodle mix. Her name is Meadow! Love, love, love her!

She is 8 years old. I've had her since she was 8 weeks.

I just wanted to share! Thanks for taking a look!

Opening

2009-08-27T09:09:00.000-07:00

Okay so I just heard through the grapevine that there might be an opening for a full-time position at my job in October. I'm so excited!

I'm definitely going to apply. The position does a lot of statistical analysis, which I recently discovered is exactly what I want to do. I took statistics in college and found it relatively easy, while others had trouble.

I almost wish I didn't know about this opening because now I'm sitting on pins and needles waiting for it.

I probably shouldn't get my hopes up though, there isn't anything in stone yet.

But I can't help it. I'm so excited about the possibility!

Starting a Job Search

2009-08-18T08:18:00.000-07:00

I made a decision to start looking for another job. I know it's going to be tough, but I feel like I should at least try.

I really don't think there are going to be any full-time positions opening up soon at my current place of employment. Although I'd like to stay put, I figured, why not look around while I wait for something to open up?

So far, I submitted a resume to an advertising and public relations company. I am very excited about and I hope that something comes from it.

It sounds like a very interesting company to work for and the job, a public relations account manager, sound very interesting, too. On top of that, the company's physical location is very close to my home and close to my son's school. Very convenient.

I'll keep you guys posted on what happens. It'll be a while since the job doesn't close for another three weeks, but I really hope I hear something before then.

A Beach Pic

2009-08-10T11:22:00.000-07:00

I clearly remember taking this picture two and a half years ago in Miami Beach. It was a chilly late-October morning and the beach was almost completely bare.

I found that it is the most beautiful when it can be seen in its natural state, without people. I was with my husband, my mom, and my son, who was 1 at the time.

When I pulled this picture from the picture box to scan it, it reminded me of how much I miss the beach and miss Miami. It is truly a beautiful place. I remember going to the beach every weekend when I was growing up. My entire family would rent rooms in the same hotel and it was awesome. My cousins and I would spend the entire weekend on the beach or in the pool.

It's so sad that as time passes and one gets older, you forget how to enjoy simple things, like a trip to the beach or a picnic at a park.

We get so preoccupied with our jobs and other responsibilities that we truly forget to...just simply...enjoy life.

My Trip to L.A.

2009-08-10T09:18:00.000-07:00

I finally uploaded pictures to my computer from my recent trip to California for a friend’s wedding.

It was my first trip to Los Angeles and it was so much fun. It was four fun-filled days of nothing but eating, drinking, and being merry.

Sightseeing was fun. We walked all over Hollywood and did all of the touristy stuff. We saw the Chinese Theatre, where all of the handprints are, the Hollywood sign, Ripley’s Believe It or Not, and the Jimmy Kimmel Show. We even went to Dodger Stadium to see them play against the Florida Marlins.

Eventually, we ended up at Roscoe’s Chicken N Waffles, best known from the tv show “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.”

My hubbie and I mostly stayed in Hermosa Beach which was beautiful. On our last day, we walked the pier in Manhattan Beach, just north of Hermosa and went to an “Open House” just for fun.

The house was 3 stories, a very short walk to the beach, 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, 2-car garage, an elevator, 2 kitchens, 2 living rooms, 2 dining rooms and amazing views! All for only $6.5 million.

I became a beer-drinker during the trip. My husband was happy since beer is so much cheaper than liquor drinks. Ha ha ha!

I wish I could visit California more often. Last time I was there was about 7 years ago when I visited San Diego, which was A-MA-ZING! Who knows, maybe that $6.5 million house will be mine eventually and I can travel all over California whenever I want. That’d be nice!

My Crazy Travels

2009-08-07T06:00:00.001-07:00

I have been to many places: San Diego, Los Angeles, Miami, Tampa, Orlando, New York City, Long Island, Chicago, St. Lucia, U.S. Virgin Islands, Bahamas, the list goes on. I have accumulated many pictures throughout my journeys.

These pictures show some of the most amazing times of my life.
So, I though it would be a good idea to begin displaying them here. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Let's test that theory. I will start by posting a picture, might be recent, might be 5 years old, and I'll write about it. Let's see if that picture really creates thought.

I'm most interested in pictures that are not recent, things that I can't really remember too clearly, to see how much the picture itself will help me remember. I invite you to comment, as well. Check back to start reading about my "Pic of the Day."

Something To Do

2009-07-31T18:40:00.000-07:00

I found out today that my hours at work are getting cut back. It sucks. Although I am not a salaried employee, I still worked a full 8-hour day and received some benefits. Now, starting Monday, I will be working on 8:30 a.m. until 12:30 p.m.

This is completely agravating because it just proves to me that I need to do something with my life, something that I can be proud of and that will help provide for my family.

I was thinking of going back to school but I already have a Master's degree, getting a Ph. D. at this point would be pointless. I can't even honestly say that the Master's degree was worth it. Maybe if I would have moved to a bigger city, but the place where I live now doesn't have many opportunities for people with degrees in international affairs and economics.

Now I'm hitting up all of these job sites trying to find a job where I can be happy and start full-time. It's too bad becauset he company that I work for now is a great company, but because they are non-profit, they cannot guarantee me a full-time job anytime soon.

We'll see what happens as the days, weeks and months go by. Hopefully, a good full-time job whether it's with my current company or another one, and personal fulfillment wouldn't be so bad either.

2009-07-31T10:28:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking a lot lately about having a second child. I would love to have another child, but I honestly don’t know that I can emotionally and mentally handle the stress.

I was 24 when I had my son, and although it was an unexpected pregnancy, my husband and I were happy and excited.

My pregnancy was relatively easy; not a lot of morning sickness and no complications, but the back pain was pretty harsh. I was in labor for 18 hours and it was complete torture.

I had a light version of post-pardum depression and it scares me to think that if I have another child, I may be walking into that again. I didn’t want to leave my house, although my body needed it. I was terrified of exposing my son to anyone other than me or my husband.

I stopped working and stayed home with him for 3 years. Soon, I began feeling down about the fact that I was a young woman with a Master’s degree and nothing to show for it career-wise. I worked really hard to earn it and I was just letting it collect dust. Actually, I still feel that way now.

I’ve started working in a company that I like, part-time for now, but hopefully turning it into a full-time position soon. I feel like this could be the beginning of me building a career. If I have another child, I know that I’ll sacrifice my career again to stay home for at least a couple of years with the new baby. Then I’ll have to start all over again.

I also think about my son and how right now, we are by no means rich, but we can afford to take him to Chuck E. Cheese’s and different places similar to it. We are planning a trip to Disney for next summer, only that trip will not happen for another couple of years if I have another baby.

Also, I feel like I am an excellent mother to my son, but will I really be an excellent mother to two children? I love my son so much that I don’t understand how I can love another child as much as I love him. I just don’t see how it’s possible.

I know that other moms do it all the time, have more than one child and love them equally but I guess it’s something that you have to go through.

I don’t know when I’ll finally make my decision about another baby, but I feel a little bit of pressure to make that decision soon.

The Real Me

2009-07-29T13:36:00.000-07:00

A 28 year-old woman with a wonderful 3-year old son and a supportive husband.

A woman with a Master’s degree, yet works part-time answering phones and proofreading documents.

Someone who feels like they could have been so much more, but settled.

In a nutshell, a woman who is dissatisfied with her life, and wants to change it, but doesn’t know how to do it without disrupting her family.